god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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