Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
