everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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