Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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