Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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