Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
