Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
