Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
