as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
