And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
