If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
