i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
