Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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