i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
