I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
