remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
