D3 body, D1 cock
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
