You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
smell my finger.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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