Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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