he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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