So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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