forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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