End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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