it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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