he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
