your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
