i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
