you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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