too bad you live with your parents still
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
