ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
