Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Let's paint friendship bongs
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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