paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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