let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
