Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
