Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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