they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
