Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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