He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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