Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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