please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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