MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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