any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
