I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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