hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You dont lie about slip and slides
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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