I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
