college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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