At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're too hungover to prance.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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