OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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