so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
