Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
